CD's Unused HGTR Jokes, Puns, and More
by FallenFromParadise
Summary: Some jokes and witty comments that you can use as you wish or just read for enjoyment.  If you use them then please leave your fiction title behind so I can give it a gander. Thanks!  Rated T just for safty!


Ironic Joke:  
>From Tom to Hermonie: "The only thing you don't know is how stupid you really are."<p>Mean-Spirited Joke:<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that frumpy little head of yours, Granger, but then I remember that I don't care."

Over-compensate Joke:  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "You know, normal men just buy brooms."<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "What are you going on about, now?"  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "Well with a snake the size of Nagini, you've GOT to be over-compensating for something."<p>

Drunken Joke:  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "You know what's so good about you right now?"<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "I really don't care."  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "I'm really drunk, you're really hot, AND you're a bad boy who's holding my hair back."<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "I still don't care, Granger."  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "What's good about me right now?"<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "You're really drunk, you're hair's a mess, AND you're throwing up in the john, what's not to like?"

Muggle Joke:  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "This darned thing won't work!"<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "Must be muggle made."

PureBlood Joke:  
>From Tom to Hermonie: "It's disgusting, a wizard actually marrying a muggle woman."<br>From Hermonie to Tom: "What's disgusting is marrying your relative."  
>From Tom to Hermonie: "DISTANT relative!"<br>From Hermonie to Tom: "STILL incest!"

PureBlood Joke: 2 From Tom to Hermonie: "This makes absolutly no sense!"  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "Must be wizard made."<p>

Foot Joke:  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "Tom, you're like a foot."<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "Excuse me?"  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "The foot is an amazing appendage. It supports our weight day after day, going the path we wish to go no matter how rocky and bedeviled it is; yet they are also the most tender. So sensitive a single feather's stroke will tickle, and a single needle would hurt; and yet nobody pays it any mind, for it is just a foot."<p>

Hair Joke:  
>From Tom to Hermonie: "When I first saw you it was that frightening hair that stood out on you."<br>From Hermonie to Tom: "You were scared of my hair?" (said sarcastically)  
>From Tom to Hermonie: "I had thought it was a creature attempting to eat your head."<p>

Hair Joke: Pt 2 From Hermonie to Tom: "What, so you were going to kill me to put me out of my misery, then?"  
>From Tom to Hermonie: "Merlin, no! I was only trying to keep it from eating dirty meat."<br>From Hermonie to Tom: "So what you're saying is that I'm a mudblood, real creative."

Mudblood Joke:  
>From Tom to Hermonie: "There is one good thing about a mudblood, they're aot of fun to splash in."<p>

Potions Joke:  
>From Hermonie to Voldermort: "I wonder what you'd look like without all that makeup on."<br>From Voldermort to Hermonie: "I wear no makeup! This is how I was made to look!"  
>From Hermonie to Voldermort: "I don't care what you read on the back of the potion bottle, you've always got to re-take after six months or the new bits start showing through."<p>

Panty Joke:  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "Can you look in my panty for the cream, please?"<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "I'd be happy to, lay down on the table."  
>From Hermonie to Tom: "I meant pantry!"<br>From Tom to Hermonie: "I'd prefer the former."

Slythern Fact:  
>Slythern's run from battle because Slytherns are aware of the danger, for it is best to always over-estimate your enemy.<p>

Griffendor Fact:  
>Griffendor's stand true in combat not because they know they'll win, but because they know they've got to try.<p>

Ravenclaw Fact:  
>Racenclaw's don't aspire to know anything about everything, but everything about anything.<p>

Huffelpuff Fact:  
>Huffelpuff's loyalty is not given out of aquaintence, but out of a solid belief a Huffelpuff makes. <p>


End file.
